The two in the picture above are Kim and her husband, Seth Adam Smith, who after a year and a half of marriage realized that marriage didn’t suit him well… They all condemned him at first, but after they listened to the words, they fully agreed with him. You will probably suffer the same way!
After a year and a half of marriage, Seth understood the true purpose of marriage. He posted a message on his blog, “Marriage is not for me.”
Here is what this man said:
,, Having been married for a year and a half, I recently came to the conclusion: marriage is not for me.
Before you start making assumptions, keep reading.
My wife and I met 15 years ago, when we were still students. We were friends for 10 years until we realized we didn’t just want to be friends.
But even when I fell in love with my best friend, I was not exempt from certain fears about marriage. The closer I got to making this decision, the more I was seized by a paralyzing fear. Was I ready? Was I making the right choice? Was Kim the right person for marriage? Will she make me happy?
Then, on a decisive night, I shared these thoughts and concerns with my father.
Probably each of us has gone through moments in which time seems to slow down or the air becomes still and everything seems to end, turning that moment into something unforgettable.
One such moment was when my father answered my questions. Smiling wisely, he said to me, “Seth, you are very selfish. So I will give you a simple answer: marriage is not right for you. You don’t get married to be happy, but to make someone happy. Even more, you don’t marry just for yourself, but for the sake of a family, for the sake of your future children. Who do you want to raise and educate? Marriage is not for you. It’s not about you. It refers to the person you are marrying. ”
At that moment, I realized that Kim was the right pair for me. I understood that I want to make her happy, to see her smiling and laughing every day. I wanted to be a part of her family and my family wanted her to be part of ours. And thinking about all the moments when I saw her playing with my nephews, I understood that she is the one I want to build my own family with.
My father’s advice was both shocking and revealing. He was opposed to the current “supermarket philosophy”, which says that if one thing doesn’t make you happy, you can bring it back so you can choose a new one.
No, a true marriage (and love) never talk about you, but about the person you love: her desires, needs, hopes, and dreams. Selfishness asks, “What is my benefit?”, While Love asks, “What can I offer?”
Some time ago, when my heart was hardened by a mixture of fear and hatred, Kim showed me what selfless love means. When the pressure increased so much that none of us could bear it, the emotions exploded. I was insensitive and selfish.
But instead of answering me selfishly, Kim did something extraordinary: putting aside all the pain and torment caused by me, she hugged me lovingly and calmed my soul.
I understood that I had forgotten my father’s advice. As Kim filled our marriage with love, I thought only of myself. This awful thought made me cry, and I promised my wife that I would try to make amends.
For all those who read this article – married, engaged, single or even the worst of singles – I want you to know: marriage is not about you. No true love affair is about you. Love is about the person you love.
And, paradoxically, the more sincerely you love a person, the more love you receive. ”