On February 7, Ruth Scully said goodbye forever to her son, Nolan, who was battling a very rare form of cancer. The baby was only 4 years old when he died, however, despite his young age, he showed courage and maturity beyond his physical age.
Nolan fought for two years to overcome his relentless illness and his mother, aware that she would lose him, dedicated a Facebook page to him where she posted pictures and information about her son every day. In this way, the woman wanted to help the other parents, who may be going through something just as painful with their children.
Here is how Ruth recounts what happened the day the mother and son said goodbye forever:
“When I last took Nolan to the hospital, I knew something was wrong, other than the bacteria in his frail body. ‘I just knew, I could feel it. Besides, my son looked like a different person… He had changed… He knew…
When the oncologist started talking, I saw her eyes fill with tears. She was always honest with us. Lately, however, Nolan’s tests have shown that my son had several new tumors, which were growing alarmingly fast and which, just 4 weeks after the open-heart surgery he had undergone, worsened his disease… Cancer is spread all over his body, like a wildfire… No medicine could stop it… ”
Meanwhile, the doctors had become aware that they could do nothing to help the little one, and the mother tried to get over the pain and dark thoughts and tried to speak openly to her baby.
“I remember Nolan sitting in my red chair. It had also become his favorite place. He looked good on YouTube… At one point, I brought my forehead closer to his and had the following conversation:
‘Me: My dear, it hurts, doesn’t it? It hurts when you breathe…
Nolan: Yes, it hurts…
Me: Does it hurt?
Nolan (looking down at his chest): Yes…
Me: Baby, this cancer is driving me crazy You know what? You don’t have to fight him anymore
Nolan (suddenly, his face lights up): Don’t I have to fight anymore? But I’ll fight for you, Mommy…
Me: No, baby! Is that what you’ve done so far? Did you fight it for mom?
Nolan: Yes!
Me: Nolan, what’s up?
Nolan (smiling widely): Defend me!
Me: My dear, I can’t do this here anymore… I can’t defend you unless you get to Heaven! (I felt my heart pounding out of my chest…)
Nolan: Then I’ll go to Heaven and play well until you get there… You come too, okay?
Me: Of course! You just don’t think you can get rid of your mom so easily! ”
Nolan: Thanks, Mom! Then I’m going to play! ‘
In the days that followed, Nolan slept most of the time. “
Then the woman had another shock, she had to declare in writing that she no longer wants her son to be kept alive by the devices:
“And now I remember sitting in the living room door with his shoes in my hand. Somehow, I was afraid to let them go. I decided to take him home that night. It was the last one and I wanted him to stay with me for another day. Home… When he woke up, he put his head on my hand and whispered to me, ‘Mommy, it’s okay, let’s stay here…’ suffering… We spent the last hours together playing, watching TV sometimes, sometimes on YouTube and smiling whenever we could… An hour before he took his last breath, he told me how he wants to be buried… He even told me how he wants us to dress for his funeral… how he wants us to remember him… Of course, as a policeman! ”
Ruth’s last conversation with her son is shocking:
“I remember asking him if I could go and take a shower. I wasn’t allowed to leave him, he had to touch me all the time. I was inseparable! He said, ‘Okay, Mom. Call Uncle Chris to sit with me, hold my hand… I’ll stand facing you, see you… ‘I went into the shower, turned to him, and said,’ Look “Come to me, baby, I’ll be right away!” He smiled at me and I closed the cabin door. When I closed the door, they told me that Nolan also closed his eyes… He had fallen into a state of numbness, he was passing beyond… Everyone in the room told me, with tears in their eyes, that he had calmed down now… ‘ Now he can’t feel anything… His right lung gave way, he can barely breathe… He’s leaving… ‘, the doctors told me. The next second, I took him in my arms and laid him on the bed. I stroked his cheek lightly… Then a miracle happened that I will never forget while I live! My angel took a deep breath, opened his eyes, smiled at me, and in a trembling voice whispered, ‘I love you, Mommy!’ Then he closed his eyes and went away. ‘All the while, I sang to him, to his ear, ‘You are my ray of sunshine’… I still can’t believe it! My child woke up from a coma for a split second, enough to tell me that he loves me and to smile at me for the last time… ”.
